Monday, January 10, 2011

J. L. Borges

Los Espejos
Yo que sentí el horror de los espejos
no sólo ante el cristal impenetrable
donde acaba y empieza, inhabitable,
un imposible espacio de reflejos

sino ante el agua especular que imita
el otro azul en su profundo cielo
que a veces raya el ilusorio vuelo
del ave inversa o que un temblor agita

Y ante la superficie silenciosa
del ébano sutil cuya tersura
repite como un sueño la blancura
de un vago mármol o una vaga rosa,

Hoy, al cabo de tantos y perplejos
años de errar bajo la varia luna,
me pregunto qué azar de la fortuna
hizo que yo temiera los espejos.

Espejos de metal, enmascarado
espejo de caoba que en la bruma
de su rojo crepúsculo disfuma
ese rostro que mira y es mirado,

Infinitos los veo, elementales
ejecutores de un antiguo pacto,
multiplicar el mundo como el acto
generativo, insomnes y fatales.

Prolonga este vano mundo incierto
en su vertiginosa telaraña;
a veces en la tarde los empaña
el Hálito de un hombre que no ha muerto.

Nos acecha el cristal. Si entre las cuatro
paredes de la alcoba hay un espejo,
ya no estoy solo. Hay otro. Hay el reflejo
que arma en el alba un sigiloso teatro.

Todo acontece y nada se recuerda
en esos gabinetes cristalinos
donde, como fantásticos rabinos,
leemos los libros de derecha a izquierda.

Claudio, rey de una tarde, rey soñado,
no sintió que era un sueño hasta aquel día
en que un actor mimó su felonía
con arte silencioso, en un tablado.

Que haya sueños es raro, que haya espejos,
que el usual y gastado repertorio
de cada día incluya el ilusorio
orbe profundo que urden los reflejos.

Dios (he dado en pensar) pone un empeño
en toda esa inasible arquitectura
que edifica la luz con la tersura
del cristal y la sombra con el sueño.

Dios ha creado las noches que se arman
de sueños y las formas del espejo
para que el hombre sienta que es reflejo
y vanidad. Por eso no alarman.

Mirrors
I, who felt the horrors of mirrors
Not only in front of the impenetrable crystal
Where there ends and begins, uninhabitable,
An impossible space of reflections,

But of gazing even on water that mimics
The other blue in its depth of sky,
That at times gleams back the illusory flight
Of the inverted bird, or that ripples,

And in front of the silent surface
Of subtle ebony whose polish shows
Like a repeating dream the white
Of something marble or something rose,

Today at the tip of so many and perplexing
Wandering years under the varying moon,
I ask myself what whim of fate
Made me so fearful of a glancing mirror.

Mirrors in metal, and the masked
Mirror of mahogany that in its mist
Of a red twilight hazes
The face that is gazed on as it gazes,

I see them as infinite, elemental
Executors of an ancient pact,
To multiply the world like the act
Of begetting. Sleepless. Bringing doom.

They prolong this hollow, unstable world
In their dizzying spider’s-web;
Sometimes in the afternoon they are blurred
By the breath of a man who is not dead.

The crystal spies on us. If within the four
Walls of a bedroom a mirror stares,
I’m no longer alone. There is someone there.
In the dawn reflections mutely stage a show.

Everything happens and nothing is recorded
In these rooms of the looking glass,
Where, magicked into rabbis, we
Now read the books from right to left.

Claudius, king of an afternoon, a dreaming king,
Did not feel it a dream until that day
When an actor showed the world his crime
In a tableau, silently in mime.

It is a strange dream, and to have mirrors
Where the commonplace, worn-out repertory
Of every day may include the illusory
Profound globe that reflections scheme.

God (I keep thinking) has taken pains
To design that ungraspable architecture
Reared by every dawn from the gleam
Of a mirror, by darkness from a dream.

God has created nighttime, which he arms
With dreams, and mirrors, to make clear
To man he is a reflection and a mere
Vanity. Therefore they aren't alarmed.

Translation by Harold Morland

Sunday, January 9, 2011

coffee and cigarettes

this morning, over a cup of café con leche and a cigarette, i pondered why people smoke. this may be somewhat inspired by a couple of things in the recent past. a few days ago, i watched the jim jarmusch film, appropriately entitled "coffee and cigarettes." last night, i was also asked when i started to smoke. though i can't say that i smoke often, it made me start to ponder why i do smoke. why does anyone smoke? obviously there are countless reasons not to smoke, health being the most significant. however, i think its silly to define actions and identities by what you are not. we do it a lot, but it seems somewhat inane to define yourself by what you are not. its something politicians or easily manipulative freshman do with their time, not to be overly judgmental.

regardless, i started thinking what caused me to start doing something that i actually detested when i was younger. the fact is that i love the act of smoking, especially with a cup of coffee on sunday mornings. its a liberating experience, something that brings me back to my good friends in iowa. a cure for the dreaded hangover that i was dealing with on that particular morning. it still feels like a motion picture every time i go back to that day; driving to some crummy restaurant, still dizzy, eating eggs and english muffins over that steaming cup of americano. the reason then that i started is because of friends, as the thesis by christakis and fowler (2008) has empirically demonstrated a couple years ago. i actually do agree with the premise of their study and think that many people begin smoking because of their peers. this, however, does not fully answer the question why these tendencies persist. it seems so irrational to continue to do something after you know what it will do to you. so why do these things endure?

this seems like a good question to be first answered through the deconstruction of smoking, at least in order to find the phenomenological and social allure of the act. for me personally, it has to do with the fact that i love the possibility of detaching. if in a crowded bar, it gives me a great chance to leave, to escape from the seemingly artificial conglomerate of fake smiles and shallow conversation that comes with a couple of drinks. i find the need to retreat to the backstage, as erving goffman would say, in order to find myself and relieve some of the anxiety i experience being surrounded by the myriad of flashing lights, multi-lingual screaming, and amateur dancing. in the same token, smoking is the very thing that brings some together. i couldn't count how many times the act of smoking has gotten me closer to others, whether it be some random person i just happen to ask for a light or close friends sitting around smoking hookah.

no matter where, i revel in the smoke as it leaves the end of my cigarette: this free-flowing masterpiece that nature creates through its various dynamic laws. i find that the smoke is something really refreshing to stare at in amazement. some may find that its relaxing feeling going through the emotions; the inhale, slow hesitation, and then the prolonged exhale that follows. i've heard anecdotal evidence that some studies have even shown that this deep breath helps up us to relax and just breathe, which most of us forget to do amidst the fast-paced, and at times disorienting, thing called life.

obviously, we see the disadvantages of smoking, but maybe this would be interesting for some to reflect on in the future. i know i certainly plan on reflecting what actually constitutes the phenomenology of smoking. its a rather interesting concept, if i do say so myself. until the next time.

cheers.

Monday, January 3, 2011

bukowski

love is a fog that burns with the first daylight of reality.